CAREGIVER NOTES from Cancer Support Community
REMEMBER THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO CARE FOR SOMEONE. IF IT WORKS FOR BOTH OF YOU, IT’S RIGHT.
EAT PROPERLY. THIS MEANS NOT LEANING OVER THE SINK FOR 4 MINUTES WHEN YOU’VE ALREADY REACHED THE “I’M STARVING” POINT.
GET PLENTY OF REST.
EXERCISE.
PRAY OR MEDITATE OR JUST “SIT” FOR A LITTLE WHILE EACH AND EVERY DAY. RENEWAL IS YOUR EXTRA “BATTERY PACK”.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT WISDOM: “BE SURE TO PUT THE OXYGEN MASK OVER YOUR OWN FACE BEFORE TRYING TO HELP THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU”.
AVOID POWER STRUGGLES; CANCER WARRIORS NEED TO FEEL SOME SENSE OF CONTROL. DON’T HOVER.
ASK FOR HELP, BUT DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY “NO THANKS” TO WELL MEANING HELPERS.
JOURNAL YOUR ABUNDANCE.
BE GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DAY.
READ SOMETHING THAT’S NOT ABOUT CANCER, OR CAREGIVING.
CALL Cancer Support Community at 314-238-2000.
STAY CONNECTED WITH YOUR LOVED ONE. CAREGIVING CAN BE THE GREATEST CHALLENGE YOU WILL EVER FACE, AND IT CAN BE AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND A CONNECTION AT A LEVEL YOU NEVER KNEW YOU COULD HAVE.
REALIZE THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE OVERWHELMED AT MOMENTS IN OUR LIVES.
BE FEARLESS!
DON’T BE AFRAID TO HIRE HELP IF THINGS DECLINE. CAREGIVERS WILL AT TIMES BREAK DOWN FASTER THAN CANCER PATIENTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE REFUSED TO TAKE NEEDED “DOWN TIME”.
HAVE CONVERSATIONS BEFORE A CRISIS OCCURS.
UTILIZE THE SOCIAL WORKERS AT THE CANCER CENTERS. THEY LOVE TO LISTEN, IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOUR SOCIAL WORKER IS, JUST ASK.
LISTEN TO MUSIC.
IF YOUR LOVED ONE WANTS TO EXPLORE THIS POSSIBILITY OF NOT GETTING BETTER, BE OPEN TO THE DISCUSSION, DON’T IGNORE IT OR BRUSH IT OFF. TALKING ABOUT DEATH WON’T KILL YOU.
HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN JUST IN CASE UTILITIES ARE CUT IN INCLEMENT WEATHER.
FIGURE OUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU AS A FAMILY.
PRIORITIZE AND STICK TO YOUR LIST.
EXPLORE GUIDED IMAGERY AND DEEP BREATHING.
WATCH FOR EMOTIONAL WARNING SIGNS:
Anger, Inability to concentrate, Unproductive worry, Profound Sadness, Frequent mood swings.
PHYSICAL WARNING SIGNS: Stooped posture, sweaty palms, tension headaches, neck pain, chronic back pain, chronic fatigue, weight gain or loss, problems with sleep.
BEHAVIORAL WARNING SIGNS: Over-reacting, acting on impulse, using drugs, alcohol, gambling or shopping as an escape, withdrawing from relationships, changing jobs often (Felder).
Helpful Websites for Caregivers:
Charli Prather, MSW, LCSW, Clinical Program Director
Cancer Support Community of Greater St. Louis